Still, it's vitally important that we are involved, say educators from across the nation. From the elementary grades through high school, our attention to homework is one of the single greatest gifts we can give our children.

"I learned the hard way," says one Arizona mother who has a married son and three much younger children.  When her oldest child was in school, she felt that school was his territory.  "I tried to be removed from his classroom so that he could find his own way, and I wanted him to learn to take care of his schoolwork himself."

But in high school, her son continually failed his classes, and finally dropped out.  Now he struggles to support a young family without a diploma. "My approach didn't work, and I admit it," says his mom, today.   "With my younger children, I'm super-involved with their schooling.  I keep a close eye on their work, volunteer in their classrooms and go on field trips.   Already, I can see that they're headed in a more successful direction academically."

Different students require different levels of parental involvement, of course.  Some kids will take care of their homework with only occasional reminders from mom or dad.  Others need a structured program every night with consistent parental involvement.  The key is to find a harmonious balance between breathing down a child's neck over every assignment and ignoring the whole issue.

What if your student is one of the many reluctant ones who would rather play Nintendo or shoot baskets instead of sitting down with his spelling words? Or what if you want to help, but you don't understand the new math? And what about after-school activities?

"Parents need to send the message that homework is important, and they need to create time for it to be done," says a fifth-grade teacher from Washington."By showing an interest, parents are saying, 'I think school is important, and I think you are important.' "

He points out that failure to do homework sometimes has more to do with a student's lack of organizational skills than with blatant refusal to do the work. "Sometimes kids just haven't developed the skills necessary to remember assignments or to plan ahead to complete them," he says. This is an area in which parents can help.  One of his students, who was failing biology for the second time, was "really turned around" when his concerned parents got him a small assignment notebook and taught him to write down each assignment daily.  When he forgot, they asked his teacher to assist. Every night, they went over the assignment book with him, helping him master time management and self-discipline, and they contacted the school on a weekly basis. Before long, his grades were higher than they'd ever been.

Most teachers, grateful for parental involvement, will bend over backward to help. But they caution parents to watch out for children who say they never have any homework. "I wish I had a dollar for every parent who has come to school and told me, 'My child says he has no homework,' " remarks one teacher. "It would help so much if, when parents hear that repeatedly, they would just check with the teacher."

"For reluctant kids, find their magic button," advises another high school instructor. "Every kid has one. Link successfully completed homework and good effort to privileges like driving the car, Nintendo time, curfew or allowances. Rewards should be short-term and to the point, however. Being allowed an hour of video games after finishing those vocabulary words is a lot more relevant than vague promises of a good college education and a great job someday."

Pay attention to the standard homework advice. It really is helpful for kids to have a regular time for after-school work and a quiet place to do it. Leave the television off, and eliminate other distractions.

Most of all, offer your help, even if you just assist your child with staying on task. "Sometimes just being present is help enough," comments the parent of an elementary school boy. "Other times, I quiz my son on his spelling words or work on math facts with him. He's supposed to read aloud to an adult for 10 minutes each night, and I make a point to give him my undivided attention. Even the phone doesn't get answered when we're reading."

In the early grades, helping with homework is simple. But how do we help later on, when our kids are studying computer programming, algebra and chemistry? "When my son took calculus," says one mother, "it was Greek to me. I knew I couldn't help him with the problems at all, but realized I could offer help in other ways. I helped structure time to work on them. I suggested small rewards -- a bowl of popcorn, say -- after a block of problems was done. I offered my quiet presence as support by paying bills or balancing my checkbook beside him at the table, and I kept the TV off.  Helping with homework doesn't mean you have to be a math whiz or a prize-winning scientist."

One father feels that the most effective way for his daughter to study is for her to teach the topic to someone else.  When your child doesn't comprehend that physics chapter, for example, try having her take a single concept and explain it step by simple step to you.

Teachers and parents agree that the earlier you start expecting your child to sit down with his or her assignments, the easier doing homework will be throughout the later school years.  Establishing good study habits is critical.

But if you've been slow to begin, the situation isn't hopeless.  Being firm yet kind about insisting on completed assignments and good work habits sometimes isn't easy. But it almost certainly insures that your child will learn self-discipline and responsibility, and will become the capable adult you hope he or she will be.